As i met new people and got involved i realized they are people who are masters of this art although they do it unintentionally. A woman whose husband was a movie director was enthusing about the movie to a couple of friends. she said "i hope it goes over with a crash" "it is a great movie...dont miss it if you can!" she assured everyone who would listen to her. do you understand what she meant? hahahahaa...exactly!.
Thats the insidious thing about skid-talking-you are never quite sure you heard it. Skid Language is like a time bomb; it ticks away quietly in you subconscious, and suddenly, a few minutes later, your mind explodes with the realization that something about the statement or remark you just heard is a little askew.
A friend once during an argument about the condition of our economy stated firmly to me "Portia if Kwame Nkrumah was alive today, he would turn over in his grave". Of course i laughed out loud and could not stop till my sides hurt and i could breathe no more. i did understand what he meant though. Another in an argument opened his debate with "For your information let me ask you a question"
The simplest form of skid-talk consists of mixing words. for example: "Too many cooks in the soup" "From time immoral" "There i was, the money holding me" "it was so dark you could not see your face in front of you" to mention a few.
Sometimes a skid-talker will turn an entire sentence inside out so efficiently that that the listener can't possibly set it straight again. I keep wondering about a statement i overheard at the lorry station the other day, "I don't understand my boyfriend, he tells me something today and out another" and i have yet to discover whats wrong with a mother's advice to her young son and his newly married wife "Two can live as cheaply as one, but it costs them twice as much".
I have a friend whose name i will lovingly withhold, who is a natural skid-zophrenic ( this is a made up word..just playing with words..look up schizophrenia). one day she said to me happily, "Pee i am a split personality all in one". we once went to the beach together to get sand for her cats litterbox, she stared out at the sea and turned to me with a smile "isnt the sea a beautiful thing? the sea water comes right up to the shore".
Another time she attended a party i was not allowed to attend and she called to give me jist...she said "Sha Pee the party was wonderful, its sad your momma did not allow to come oo...you should have seen the people that came, everybody in the room was there". One time i went with her to visit a dear friend of mine who prepared a nice meal for us..truthfully the meal was really tasty. She insisted that she thanked my friend as we were leaving and she told our host "My dear, thank you for this nice meal, this is the best lunch i have ever put in my whole mouth".
There are some insults skid-talkers lash out that leave you wondering whether to put be offended or amused.
A couple of teenage girls were arguing and one said to the other "i have never liked you and i always will" and one old man once told an unruly young boy "You are old enough to be my son".
The best skid-talker fuses two thoughts into one creating a new shortcut which speeds up the language. I remember on new years eve, a tenant in our house was afraid the noise from our shouts and fire crackers will disturb the other neighbors in the hood..."please dont so much noise" she told us, "remember this is not the only house we are in"
Recently i received a text from a friend who lived far from where i stayed..i had visited them once and he was texting to say they missed me. "Come see us again" he wrote, "we miss you almost as much as you were here"
You would read this and think what the hell? she probably made this up...but check yourself and listen hard...you might be friends with skid-talkers, living with them or you might be one yourself...you never know..;)..Signing out until next time...its yours truly
Abena_Pee
(novellemagarets)
